Church was always a big part of my life, I knew that God had great things for me but never really questioned it until I discharged from the Marines. While serving, we stopped going to church. It seemed odd for me not going to church but I was a Marine now and I didn’t think of it as important. However, back home in Mississippi it was time for us to get involved with church again and so life went on. From 1996 until 2000, our life was just as any other couple, learning, laughing and loving. Spiritually, we were well. I was a happy man, with a good life and a great family.
I began to struggle with my my spirituality in those few years between 96 and 2000. I wrestled with God and even one point wept, pleading with God to just leave me alone and let me live my life as a good Christian man. He had other plans. Finally, in 2001 I accepted the call of God in my life. My family and I left the church we had known as kids, the church I first saw my future wife in when I was 15 and knew that she was gonna be mine. The church I first kissed my future wife at, in the parking lot, after church of course. The church she and I were married in. The church we dedicated our kids to God in. The church my mother still goes to today. The only church I knew. This was a very difficult decision but we made the decision and rocked on. We started attending another smaller church, with a great pastor whom I love dearly. Later, I would become youth pastor and ultimately pastor.
There is so much more about my formative years, teenage years and my young married years I could tell, but we will talk about that later, as this is just to let you know who I am. This is just the beginning of a journey I have never taken. I don’t know what is compelling me to tell my story, other than the fact that this is a healing for me. Believe me, as you will see later I am a sick man. If I can tell my story and it helps one person then I can say it was worth it, but until then, I still ask myself “why me”.
Throughout this journey of blogging, I hope you can feel some of my hurts, feel my inspiration, feel the love that is being restored to me. I hope to share some of those feelings of love, hope, peace and joy. Grant you, this is starting out as a spiritual journey. I didn’t intend for that to be, it just is. To understand fully what I am saying, it must be understood that I was a church kid, a spiritual kid and a loving kid but somewhere along the way I lost those things. My blog is not to preach to or convince you that my way will work for you, you have your own beliefs, I just wanna tell you my story. I am gonna try my best to tell you what being a Man is. I will tell you what drugs will do to your life. I am gonna share with you how darkness invaded my life and made me do things I thought I would never do. I am gonna share with you my thoughts about music and share with you the “Metal” tunes that I love. I love music, you are gonna hear some great tunes. Bob Marley said, ” One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” How true is that? Someday’s I may share with you other things that interest me, things I may find beauty in. Other days, I may share some compelling news. I assure you, you will find something you will enjoy.
Several years ago, I had a dream that I was gonna one day write a book. Now, I am not a writer by profession, heck, I am not even an amateur writer, but I woke up with a title of a book and that is why I chose my title, Going Forward in Reverse. The thought is, throughout my life I have moved along but it always seemed backwards to me, thus the title. Maybe, the blog was what I was gonna do. I do not know. This is a brand new trip for me. I invite you to come along. If there is a day that you do not agree with me or I offend you, please email me, we can talk. Don’t judge me, this is my life. This is life through my eyes.
Thank you for reading. I am pretty excited about this blog. I look forward to reading yours. Sit back and watch what this is gonna turn into. Going Forward in Reverse!