You Just Can’t Read One Page…Turn It!

Just like a book, in life, you must turn the page to continue to live.  I am not a huge reader.  I enjoy reading but sitting down for a long period of time reading a book does not inspire me.  I wished it did.  As a matter of fact, I am going to make it a point to do more reading.  I read a lot of things online, but the articles are relatively short pieces.  I admire a person that can sit for hours and read.  Reading is fundamental, remember RIF in elementary school.  (Insert Laughter).

In 1972, Bob Seger penned a song titled Turn the Page.  Not only is Bob one of the greatest voices in recent history, he is also a profound songwriter.  This particular tune is about a touring musician and his life on the road.  Sometimes that life can become a “pain” according to this song.  Driving down long, lonesome highways, out in the middle of nowhere listening to the hum of the engine.  Thinking about that girl you had and wishing the trip would end.  Getting up on stage, playing the star.  Walking into restaurants, eyes piercing you because you may look a little different.  Monotony of the road and life is overwhelming at times.  Many songs describe that life in a very dark sad descriptive.

Motley Crue’s song Home Sweet Home is another cry for home.  The long and winding road and can’t wait to be home.  Vince Neil’s high-pitched cry for home is overwhelming, as you feel what he is singing about.  Ozzy Osbourne penned Mama, I’m Coming Home in reference to his wife upon his retirement after what was, I am sure, a very ‘difficult’ tour.  I feel confident that his life on the road was filled with drugs and debauchery on every level.  It was time  to turn the page for both of these two bands.

Corey Taylor of Slipknot fame wrote Zzyzx Rd. in reference to his alcohol abuse and thoughts of suicide while living the crazy life of a rock n roll star.  Another Cory Taylor, a singer and songwriter with the same name, wrote about the road and madness of nights well spent.  His past escapes him as he takes the backroad.  Just him and the stars.  Waiting on the sunrise to shed some light on all these changes.  Tonight, I am taking the backroad home, trying to find my piece of mind.  To face these changes, I must face em alone.  Find some comfort in despair, breathe some sense into the senseless.  I wonder what I am fighting for and will I one day get it right.  Both, Corey and Corey, must turn the page.

Life is very much a song, a book, a movie and a poem.  The story that is told ranges through many different emotions.  Often times the most compelling stories turn out to be the saddest of tragedies.  I think, as human beings we always want to hear the tragedy.  Think about this, for the Nascar fan that watches from home, the most exciting part of the race is the crash.  Sure, we want our favorite driver to win, but a good crash (as long as it’s not so bad someones dies) is epic.  We always root for the underdog.  Every movie has a tragic event.  One of my favorite movies is Transformers.  I love it, I am amazed how real Optimus Prime, Ironhide and Bumblebee seem.  I find myself throughout the movie feeling emotion for these robots.  Optimus Prime gets his butt whipped and I am on the edge of my seat, almost in a panic, yelling for Optimus to “GET UP”, “FIGHT”!  What about the movie King Kong, I watch that movie and almost weep cause the poor monkey is getting handed a raw deal and eventually shot to pieces.  We love those stories.

Several years ago, I read a book called, Beautiful Boy, about a father that watched his young son spiral out of control due to addiction.  Great read.  I read Slash’s Autobiography about his trip through success and addiction and then success again.  I read The Heroin Diaries, Nikki Sixx’s book about his life on drugs.  The tragedies are the most compelling stories.  Why would we want to read a book about great things from the beginning to the end?  I don’t know why, why?  We are drawn to the saddest of tragedies like Romeo and Juliet.  The sad songs move us.  The sad stories put a fire under us to do a thing, to make something happen.

Youtube is full of ‘Fails’or viral videos.  They range from funny pieces of people tripping, falling down, crashing or fighting.  These videos will have millions of views.  I wonder if I could post a video of peaceful sunsets across the water,  a field of wild flowers, or the beauty of a waterfall and put it to beautiful music and get a million views.  Chances are slim.  VH1 had a series of shows called “Behind the Music’, a very popular show, but every story of every band or musician or rapper had tragedy in it.  Each band, each songwriter, rapper, or author had to turn the page.

Isn’t life similar?  We turn the page from adolescence to youth, from youth/teen to adulthood.  Every aspect of our lives can be put into chapters or pages.  Wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to stay on one page, kind of like groundhog day?  Everyday the same beautiful tale.  No, it would be boring.  Every area and aspect of my life I have put into a timeline, a book form.  I can use my memory and turn to a certain page and reread it like a novel.   Many times I have wanted to rip some pages out and throw them into the trash.  However, the novel of my life, I don’t have that luxury.  I have to face it page by page and live with it.  I can read a page and then turn the page.  I can do this over and over until I get to the last page and that is where I can continue writing my novel.  I am at that place today.  My novel has some beautiful stories in it.  I can read about the good days of my youth.  How my parents gave me unconditional love.  How I met my beautiful wife and ultimately we had a beautiful family.  How God guided us to where we are now.  However,there is another side of my novel that isn’t quiet so beautiful, it tells the tale of darkness, addiction and hurt and tears and sadness.  When I turn those pages they seem like they could go on forever.  It becomes very hurtful rereading those pages, but it is part of the novel nonetheless.  Today, I am turning the page of that old life and starting a brand new chapter.  These next couple of chapters will have a better end to this novel, to this tragedy.  I am feeling rather optimistic about these next chapters.  The author of this novel has promised me a better life if I just follow him and be still.  Sometimes being still during the writing process is very difficult but I know he has a better plan that I can not see.  Reality is,  I must Turn the Page!

Going Forward in Reverse,

Tim

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